by Asia Mangum
[gdlr_frame type=”border” align=”left” caption=”Photo by Kelsee Ford”][gdlr_image_link type=”image” image_url=”https://www.jxnpulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/IMG_3916-300×200.jpg” link_url=”https://www.jxnpulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/IMG_3916.jpg” alt=””][/gdlr_frame]
One night I sat up watching “Sex and the City” with my mom’s permission as long as I didn’t repeat any of the bad words. The four women were sitting at a dinner table and discussing their love lives as usual. Carrie was upset about not having a man to love her back and how she hadn’t found her soulmate.
That’s when Charlotte said something that didn’t mean much too me then, but does now. “Maybe we could be each other’s soulmates, and guys can be these wonderful people to have fun with,” she said to her friends.
Thinking about that quote now made me realize that I had been unconsciously living by it my entire life. My epiphany is that you don’t have to be in a relationship to find love. Besides, love to me is like trusting another person with all the power to hurt you in any way possible, and they give you the same power in return. But this shouldn’t stop you from finding love.
You can find love in friendship, family, life, religion, or most importantly, yourself. I think a lot of people forget this, especially in high school. Everybody in high school is always after someone. I’m not criticizing young love, but I feel as though you should take the time out and focus on yourself, or enjoy and appreciate the people in your life now. Don’t be afraid that you’ll be seen as selfish or stuck up. If you really cared about others, you would learn to love yourself in order to be able to share that love with them. That’s what I’m trying to do.
Out of all my friends, I’m the only one who hasn’t had an actual boyfriend. It’s funny, because I think it bothers them more then it bothers me. Actually, it doesn’t bother me at all. However, it does annoy me when they try to play match-maker, and force me into a relationship.
Once my friends and I were at the mall. We ran into an old friend of ours from middle school who had moved to Clinton. He had another friend with him. For privacy, I’ll call this guy Jon Doe.
I leaned over to my friend and whispered, “He’s kinda cute.” Apparently “kind of cute” to her translates to, “Oh my God! I’ve found the love of my life! My future husband! Please, if you were my best friend, like you said you were, won’t you set us up?!”
[gdlr_quote align=”center” ]”You can find love in friendship, family, life, religion, or most importantly, yourself.”[/gdlr_quote]
That is exactly what she did. The rest of them left me and Jon Doe alone, and the two of us spent the remainder of the time walking around the mall. In awkward silence, might I add. When he finally spoke up, his first line was, “So, how is life?”
Now I could tell he was nervous, but honestly how in the world am I suppose to respond to “how is life?” The whole time it felt like I was doing most of the talking. I had to or else we would’ve been walking around in awkward silence like before. Jon Doe was very shy, although I probably could’ve used that time to think of a response to his “deep” and “profound” question. Eventually, we caught up with our friends, exchanged numbers, went our separate ways and never spoke to one another again.
In all honesty, I’ve never been too focused on relationships. I’m not bashing them at all. I think falling in love is beautiful. At first, I thought something was wrong with me. When all my friends would lie around in my bedroom talking about who they were talking to, who they use to talk to and who they’re going to start talking to, I would sit against the wall, nodding along as if I could relate, or care. I would see them go through all this drama and heartbreak, and think to myself, “Man, that is not how I’m trying to be.” A lot of relationships nowadays are superficial and lack individuality. Relationships should give you room to be yourself, which then makes it original. That’s how it should be for every couple. If the love between you and your partner isn’t original, then it might not even be real love.
I’d rather just let it happen. As in just let love find its way to me. Maybe I could be one of those women who would marry the man of her dreams, has two or three children, and move into a New England home with white picket fences and rose bushes planted out front. Maybe I could be like Samantha from “Sex and the City” when I’m older. I could have one or two divorced husbands, a few children, but then find my true soulmate in my golden years. Or I’ll be the woman who never married, never had children, and everyone feels sorry for her—when in reality she’s happier then any of the woman I mentioned before.
Love is just a way of life. It isn’t the end of the world if you don’t find it as soon as possible. It doesn’t have to come with any type of requirement. People need to try to find love in themselves and stop trying to find it in other someone else. It’s probably been with you all along.